There's a feeling every man knows.
At that moment when the thing you've given everything to the dream you've carried, and the plan you've built your identity around starts to slip through your fingers.
And you wonder: Was that it? Is God done with me?
I've been there. My version of it started on a football field, playing for Indiana University football as a defensive tackle. I didn't know it at the time, but that my Senior season would become one of the clearest examples in my life of what it means to walk through faith through adversity, and what it looks like when God changes your plans you thought were already set in stone.
This is that story.
Growing Up on the South Side of Chicago: Football Wasn't Even a Plan
Before high school, I hadn't played organized football at all. My experience was limited to schoolyard games and playing flag football at the local park in 7th and 8th grade.
That was it.
No Pop Warner. No travel league. No highlight tape.
But when I got to Corliss High School on the South Side of Chicago, something clicked. I was stronger than most players my age because I had been lifting weights since middle school. I wasn't the fastest player on the field, but I was explosive and quick off the ball in that five-yard burst that matters most when you play defensive line.
More than anything, I was teachable.
When a coach told me to "shoot the A-gap, rip your arm through, and stay low," I didn't just do it, I wanted to understand why. I respected my coaches as subject matter experts, and that hunger to learn the game the right way shaped everything that came after.
Looking back now, I can see that God was already building something in me.
“Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men.” - Colossians 3:23
Three Years of Losing and a Coach Who Changed Everything
My first three years at Corliss were rough.
We lost. A lot.
I still remember overhearing our head coach after one of those losing seasons saying to another coach, "Don't worry about it, we got a payday coming."
As a teenager, that cut deep. Football meant something to us players. We were pouring in our time, our energy, our hearts. It didn't feel like everyone on the sideline had the same investment.
Then God sent us a new coach.
Coach Madison Loftis was a former Corliss player himself. He believed in his players. He believed in preparation. He believed in education. And he believed, with everything in him, that any kid who had the grades, the character, and the willingness to put in the hard work could play college football somewhere.
Division I. Division II. Division III. NAIA. Junior college. It didn't matter.
He believed opportunities existed for young men who were willing to go after them.
Before Coach Loftis came along, I didn't even know that a thing like “college football camps” existed.
He changed that fast.
A $449 Investment That Changed the Trajectory of My Life
It was tax season when Coach Loftis pulled up to our house and sat down with my mother.
He explained it simply: if she made a small investment in football camps now, there was a real possibility she might never have to pay for my college education later.
My mom listened.
She spent $350 from her tax refund so I could attend the University of Michigan football camp, and another $99 so I could go to Northwestern University's football camp.
Those two experiences cracked my football world wide open.
The coaching. The fundamentals. The level of competition. The techniques I had never seen before.
I came home a completely different player.
When my senior season started in 1992, we had our first winning season in years. And individually, I began to get recognized:
· Chicago Tribune’s Illinois Top 100 Football Players
· Midwest Top Lineman Prospect
· Chicago Sun-Times 2nd Team All-Public League
· Blue Chip Illustrated Magazine All-America
· Coaches Magazine All-America
· Chicago’s Tom Lemming's Prep Football Report Top Lineman Prospect
For the first time in my life, playing college football felt real.
There was just one problem.
Nobody was calling.
A Dirty Envelope and the Hand of God
I was a late bloomer. Most college programs had already set their recruiting boards for the incoming 1993 freshmen class. Coaches across the country simply didn't know I existed.
Coach Loftis wasn't going to let that stop him.
One day after the football season ended for us, he told me to go to Walgreens and buy a pack of VHS tapes. What I didn't know was that he had already gone to our school's TV/Radio director before the season started and learned how to edit game film. He created my highlight tape himself. He copied it onto those VHS tapes and mailed them to schools across the country. Every division, every level.
Still nothing.
No calls. No offers. No interest.
Then one day, while cleaning out a storage room on campus, Coach Loftis found an old, dirty, self-addressed envelope lying on the floor.
It was from Indiana University Basketball.
He picked it up, took a pen, scratched out the word "Basketball," and wrote "Football" in its place. He slipped my highlight tape inside, sealed it up, and mailed it.
I still laugh about that story to this day.
Because sometimes God uses what we would never think to use.
“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good.” - Romans 8:28
Two weeks later, Indiana University football program became the first school to call.
Saying Yes When I Didn't Know What Was Coming
Indiana offered me a scholarship in January 1993. At that point, they were the only school that had shown serious interest.
I wrestled with the decision to accept the scholarship offer.
Do I commit? Do I wait? What if this is my only offer? What if more schools come?
I called Coach Loftis.
He wouldn't make the decision for me. But he was honest: the scholarship wouldn't stay on the table forever. And it might be the only one.
So, I committed to the Indiana University football program during my visit to the campus.
Partly because I genuinely saw myself playing there. I liked the coaches, the campus, the program. They just so happened to run a similar defensive scheme to what we ran at Corliss. The coaches were also honest and direct.
But I'll be real with you: part of my decision was also fear. I was afraid that if I waited, I might end up without any offer at all.
What happened next still amazes me.
The minute I committed and got back to Chicago, Coach Loftis's phone started ringing off the hook.
The first call came from Coach Charlie McBride- the defensive coordinator of the “would be” three-time National Champions Nebraska Cornhuskers.
Then came a flood of Big Ten schools.
Then Notre Dame.
Then Miami.
Coach McBride came to my house, sat on our couch, and was about to slide a Nebraska highlight tape into our VCR. A tape from traditionally winning program, with the possibility of playing in a post-season bowl game every year. The standard of college football at that time.
Coach McBride must have sensed something before pressing play on the VCR because he asked me if I was sure I was interested in playing football for the Cornhuskers. I told him that if I hadn’t given Indiana my word that I would play for them, I would feel more comfortable continuing this process with Nebraska. I proceeded to tell him not to play the highlight tape. Coach appreciated my honesty and gave nothing but praises to the Indiana football coaching staff.
Whether that was the smartest recruiting decision or not, I don't know. But I was raised to believe that your word meant something.
“Let what you say be simply 'Yes' or 'No.” - Matthew 5:37
Everything Was Finally Coming Together, Then the Pop
I arrived at Indiana University in the fall of 1993.
My first few years were hard in ways I didn't expect.
I reported in at 6'3", 335 pounds. The coaching staff was constantly on me about my weight, and they wanted me playing at around 260-265 pounds. I couldn't wrap my head around it, though. They recruited me as a bigger defensive tackle. Why were you trying to turn me into something different?
I failed run tests. I battled frustration. This was my first real season of trusting God in times of uncertainty, even though I didn't have that language for it yet. I just knew I had to keep showing up.
Right before my junior season ended, Coach Bill Mallory was fired and replaced by Coach Cam Cameron- a man who had come straight from the NFL's Washington Commanders (Redskins at the time). And just like what happened with Coach Loftis in high school, everything shifted.
When Coach Cameron finally came into the building, he sat me down for a meeting I'll never forget.
He looked at me and said:
"Look, I don't care about your weight. I heard that the previous coaching staff were on you hard about that. You can be as big as a house for all I care. As long as you're in shape, pass your run tests, and play a little football for me, you're good with me."
I don't know if that was psychology or strategy or just honesty.
But those words were music to my ears.
Everything changed.
I got my weight down to a manageable 295 pounds. I became the strongest player on the team with a 435-pound bench press, and a 700-plus pound max squat. My 40-yard dash was 5.1 seconds. I passed both conditioning tests, including the 1.5-mile run that I completed in 12 minutes and 45 seconds.
For the first time in my college career, I felt like I was becoming the player I knew I could be.
I was projected to start my senior year.
The NFL, the dream I had carried since I was a kid studying players like Reggie White, Bruce Smith, Richard Dent, and Chris Zorich was starting to feel real.
After four years of fighting, I had finally arrived.
Then two weeks before the season opener, during a preseason scrimmage, I was on the sideline when my defensive line coach told me to stay in to give the young offensive linemen some extra work.
I ran back onto the field.
The ball was snapped. I exploded off the line. I engaged the blocker.
Then I felt a pop in my big toe.
I dropped to the ground.
The trainers came out onto the field. They helped me up and walked me to the sideline.
Turf toe.
The first significant injury of my entire college career. Five years in, and it happened now in a scrimmage two weeks before the season I had worked toward my entire life.
The disappointment was overwhelming.
Not just because of the pain. But because of everything it represented. Years of sacrifice. Years of waiting. Years of proving myself. And now this.
The Decision That Haunts Me and Overcoming Life's Disappointments
Doctors recommended surgery. Recovery could have cost me most of my senior season.
I chose to play through it.
My final season didn't go the way I had envisioned. I did, however, participate in Indiana's NFL Pro Day after graduation and gave everything I had, even with the injury still lingering. But deep down, I knew the dream I had carried since childhood was slipping away.
For the first time in my life, I genuinely thought football was over.
This is where a lot of men get stuck. Overcoming life's disappointments isn't about pretending the loss didn't hurt. It's about what you do in the months and years after the loss when nobody's watching and the dream you had is officially gone.
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." — Proverbs 16:9
If you're searching for Bible verses for disappointment, that one has carried me more times than I can count. It doesn't promise the outcome you wanted. It promises that God is still directing your steps even when your own plans fall apart.
From Indiana University Football to Finding a Greater Purpose
After graduation, I entered the workforce believing life after football would simply mean football became a great memory.
I was wrong.
A year later, I got an opportunity to coach offensive line at Arkansas Tech University while pursuing my Master's Degree in Education Technology (Instructional Systems Design). In my first season as a coach, we won the Gulf South Conference Championship and earned the school's first-ever NCAA Division II Playoff appearance. Four of my offensive linemen earned postseason honors.
What I thought was an ending turned out to be an entirely new beginning. This is what trusting God's timing actually looks like in real life. It rarely shows up on the schedule we had in mind.
Over the years, God kept opening doors and helping me toward finding your purpose in places I never expected:
· High school coaching in Chicago Public Schools with multiple teams reaching new heights
· Mentoring student athletes who needed someone to believe in them
· Guest coaching at Division I football camps across the Big Ten and Missouri Valley conferences
· Guest coaching at professional camps including the DeBartolo NFL Football Academy and the Steve Clarkson NFL Football Camp
· Investing in young coaches who were just starting their own journeys
Then in August of 2025, I got a phone call from Arkansas Tech's athletic department.
They were inducting the entire 1999 Wonder Boys football team into their Athletic Hall of Fame.
In November of 2025, the coaches, players, and support staff from that team were honored together. I couldn’t be there in person, but I watched it unfold through photos and messages from former coaches and players, and it hit me harder than I expected.
I wasn't thinking about what I lost. I was thinking about what God built.
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Reflection: God Is Not Finished Yet
That's why the God Is Still Working t-shirt means more to me than just a design on a tee.
Because there was a real season in my life when I genuinely believed God had finished writing this chapter.
I thought the injury was the end.
I thought the dream was dead.
I thought the story had been written and it ended in disappointment.
But God is not finished yet.
He was working through the injury.
He was working through the waiting.
He was working through the closed doors and the dreams that unfolded differently than I expected.
This is the part of the story I'd ask every man reading this to sit with: God's plan is better than mine. Not in a way I could see at the time. But looking back, I can trace His hand through every closed door.
Persevering in faith through adversity doesn't mean you don't feel the loss. It means you keep showing up to the next assignment or that next play even when the first one didn't go the way you planned. I didn't always do that gracefully. But I kept keeping the faith, even in the seasons when I didn't feel it.
Looking back now, I realized something I couldn't see then:
Football was never the destination. It was preparation.
God used football to build discipline, perseverance, accountability, leadership, and influence into me. The very skills I thought were preparing me for the NFL were actually preparing me to become a coach, a mentor, an educator, a husband, a leader, and a better follower of Christ.
My dream of playing in the NFL never came true. For a long time, I thought that meant the story ended in failure. Today, I know better. God didn't take football away from me.
He expanded it.
"And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him." — Romans 8:28
Al Haywood and legendary NFL coach Jim Hanifan.
DeBartolo NFL Football Academy and the Steve Clarkson NFL Football Camp
Introductions.
Wear the Reminder
That journey is exactly why we created our God Is Still Working Christian t-shirt. It's more than a piece of Christian apparel. For me, it's a daily reminder that God's plan is better than mine, that He works all things together for good, and that even when I couldn't see it, He was still writing my story.
If you're walking through a season of trusting God's timing, or you're in the middle of overcoming life's disappointments, I hope this shirt reminds you of one simple truth: keep the faith, because God is not finished yet.
Browse our full collection of faith-based men's clothing and Christian t-shirts at www.calledtoedify.com, and find the piece that speaks to where you are right now.
Additional Content: To hear more about Al’s story, click here to listen to iHeart Radio’s “Faith In The Zone” podcast with host Mike McGivern and Pastor Ken Keltner.
1 comment
Love this article so much!!❤️